Mission From Hell
by MrsBridgetSomerhalder
Summary: Valek is assigned a mission he literally cannot pass down. But what happens when he begins to plot to take down his comrades with him. Will everyone concede or will there be uproar...Only hilarity can come out of this espionage plus some saved lives. This is one mission no one wants to part take in. But the Commander has put his foot down. May the chips ever be in your favour.
1. Chapter 1

**Mission form Hell**

* * *

**Chapter One – Spoons**

* * *

Valek was on a mission. A mission from hell.

"No."

"Valek, I am commanding you to go," Commander levelled a cool gaze at Valek.

"I won't blend in," Valek protested.

"Valek," the Commander's tone held a note of finality to it.

Valek slinked back to his rooms looking somewhat…well passive.

He threw open the door scaring a sleeping form off of the couch, Valek whipped out his sword; suddenly he heard three sets of laughter.

"You owe me ten gold coins, Janco," Ari grinned holding his hand out. Valek looked between them in confusion and the couch, hoping the intruder will peer over it. He used his senses and smelt the air, he could smell Janco, musty old woman smell (he really smelt like frangipanis, un-masculine if you asked Valek), Ari smelt like cut grass, Maren smelt of vanilla with a hint of spice, pomegranate smell invaded his nostrils, but the one that sent waves of happiness through him was lavender. He inhaled deeply and smiled to himself. She was here.

"Snake pit," she murmured.

Yelena's green eyes looked over the couch, and Valek immediately relaxed his fighting stance. "What the damn hell is going on?" he demanded from the power twins. "Don't you two have some charges to look after?" he grunted looking somewhat angry.

"No, we were here to babysit Yelena," Janco smirked, Maren rolled her eyes. Yelena dusted off her uniform, there were purplish rings under her eyes and a slight smudge of black on her right cheek.

Ignoring the power twins and Maren, Valek moved swiftly to Yelena's side, using the pad of his thumb he removed the black smudge and smiled. "Hello love," his sapphire eyes held a new shine to them. Yelena looked up at Valek and grinned.

"Hello jailbaite," Yelena snickered lithely moving away from Valek, putting the coffee table between them.

"So you've heard-"

"Oh everyone has heard about your new mission," Janco cut through.

"Not everyone, just our corps team," Ari corrected immediately after giving Janco a swift jab to the kidney.

"Your new uniform came in," Maren chirped holding it out.

"The seamstress works fast," Valek commented dryly, the annoyance shining through his eyes.

"Why yes I do, Valek," Dilana came out from Yelena's old room, the pomegranate smell made sense now, "I have your measurements locked in my mind," she winked slyly, Ari quickly pulled her to his side. Smart man.

Having comrades outside of battle was becoming tiresome, thought Valek with a disgruntled sigh.

Valek didn't bother pursuing Yelena, thinking she'd come at her own accord. Instead he flopped onto the couch gracefully, crossing one leg over the other.

"It is a nuisance having everyone in MY suite," he emphasised.

"I'm sure it is, love," Yelena looked somewhat chipper, Valek smiled briefly before remembering why all this 'chipper-ness' filled his suite rooms. _Damn stupid mission_, he thought dryly.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I kind of wish I was on the mission with you," Maren smirked, digging her hands into her pockets.

"I'd gladly trade places, hell I even offered various other soldiers that would suit this mission. However the commander is adamant it be me," Valek closed his eyes rubbing his temple, trying to rub a way the new migraine that threatened to intercept his mind.

"Well since it is a nuisance to have us all in your suite, we'll all leave," Yelena declared, ushering everyone out before I could protest about the 'everyone' part.

_Just my damn luck_, Valek thought.

He could hear Yelena moving toward him form behind; he tensed a bit before she leaned over his left shoulder, lavender invading his senses calming his body down instantly. She pecked his check and murmured, "remember to be in bed by nine-thirty, love," she snickered before leaving with the pack of imbeciles.

_Nothing is going to go my way_, Valek thought dryly.

* * *

**The mission will be revealed next chapter, but it should be pretty evident through this chapter though! **

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**As always, leave a review! We all love reviews no matter bad or good. **

**Love B. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Mission From Hell**

* * *

**Chapter Two – Gives You Hell**

* * *

Yelena did not return that day, so Valek slept alone in his large four post bed, tossing and turning. But eventually he woke up at dawn with a beautifully sinister smile. He had a plan. A plan that was either genius or… well, stupid as hell.

But Valek lived for risks.

"I will take you all down with me," he whispered happily rolling out of bed and getting ready for some convincing.

* * *

Janco, Ari, Maren and Yelena were called into the war room. Each went in with apathy lining their faces. Something bad was about to happen; they could feel it in the air. Valek was early to one of his war meetings, which meant _trouble_, also the killer grin he had on was too bright.

They went in one after another in a line, head hung low as if they were going to the gelatine.

"Commander," the all greeted monotony.

"It has come to my attention that Valek's mission would go smoothly if he has some help," Commander looked a them all and motioned for them to take a seat.

"As you are all probably aware, Valek will be going undercover as a high school student to uncover who is taking students and murdering them."

A chorus of groans filled the room that made Valek's smile larger, Yelena gave him a stony look that freeze any man or woman.

"In order to further the case and hopefully close this matter up quickly, you will all be assigned roles. I have thought about this all morning and have devised a plan. Maren you will be the cafeteria lady," Commander stated, Maren looked about ready to kill Valek.

"When I said I ALMOST wanted to join you. I MEANT ALMOST!" Maren reached for the nearest object but Janco stopped her and patted her hand reassuringly, prying the tea cup out of her hand.

"Janco, a history teacher," Commander cut Janco a levelled stare and Janco looked wide eyed. Janco thought about unleashing Maren on Valek. But he was a man with needs.

He opened his mouth the broach the subject of maybe a transferal to a different district instead, but shook his head and slinked further down into his chair.

Valek's grin widened at the defeat written all over their faces.

"Ari you will be a student," Commander announced, Ari didn't look too pleased but not as defeated as Janco. The Commander turned to Yelena, and grinned, "and you will be a student, as will you Valek."

Valek's smile was lost.

Janco and Ari begun whopping loudly in laughter, "but sir, don't you think-"

"Valek, I've made up my mind. And you know my thoughts on going back on my word."

"Yes, sir," Valek glared at the power twins who were still laughing as the commander left.

"At least it's not as bad as being the cafeteria lady," Valek smirked.

"Shut up, asshole."

"You are on probation," Yelena glared at Valek.

"What's probation?" Janco's frown mirrored Valek's and Ari's.

"It means no sex," Maren rolled his eyes, "I should be the bloody history teacher, Janco is useless when it comes to history," Maren grunted side swiping Janco.

Valek looked put out, "well done, old man. No sex for Valek, hahaha," Janco laughed along with Ari.

"But Yelena, I wanted to spend my time with you since your back from your stay at-"

"NO. You are on probation. Thanks to you, I'm stuck going to school pretending to be sixteen."

"At least you look it," Valek muttered, "I'm bloody thirty-six How the hell am I going to pull off 17?" he rubbed his temples in anger.

"You know what, this might just be interesting," Yelena grinned mischievously.

"Oh indeed," agreed Janco, his eyes shinning with humour.

Valek re-evaluated his stupid plan to take everyone down with him. Maybe he really stuck his foot into this one. He had to learn to curb his impulses.

_No going back now_, he thought humourlessly. No sex, going to high school, again, with the Janco in a higher position then him, _what could be worse?_ Valek thought tiredly.

Only Valek hadn't realised how bad things could get.

* * *

Maren was aiming her arrow at Valek from the fourth story window as he did his famous challenge with another incompetent youth.

"What you up to?" Janco asked in a sickly sweet voice, sidling up next to her. "I say aim for his arse," Janco grinned.

"If you get him with that arrow, you'd all better be prepared to sleep with one eye open," Yelena called, Valek looked up and smiled at Maren and Janco before delivering the victorious blow to the pup.

"Yelena," Janco groaned.

Ari chose to enter with Dilana on his arm, "all on breaks?" he asked looking about the common room.

"Maybe," they all replied.

"Secret meeting?" Dilana questioned.

"EXACTLY!" Janco yelped as Maren pinched his butt.

"Not really, it was merely chance that we all came to the same common room," Maren muttered.

"Okay, but now that we are all here, and he is outside battling the youths," Yelena pointed out with a wolfish grin that out rivalled Valek's. "We need to make him pay. And pay dearly, he will," Yelena declared.

"You have a plan?" Ari sounded interested as he sat down, taking Dilana with him.

"Oh I have a plan, my friend. We will not only solve the mystery surrounding the death of students. We will also wreak havoc on Valek."

"I'm in."

"Me too."

"Count my balls," everyone turned to Janco.

* * *

_**Hope this was an enjoyable read for those who are on board. **_

_**AS always drop a review!**_

_**Love B. **_


	3. Chapter 3

**Mission from Hell**

* * *

**Chapter Two – Home**

* * *

Commander was laying down the final contingency plans, Valek stood at the end of the table looking down at the forest, everyone else sat down staring around the room, trying to appear coherent.

"….nine teenagers have been murdered in the past seven weeks and a pattern is occurring. The corps teams are delivering your packet with information and uniforms discreetly as I speak,…"

_Blah, blah. Blah blaaahhh, _ran through Janco's mind.

_I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy, _ran through Maren's mind as she hummed it under her breath.

_I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, _Ari sung in his mind before looking down in disgust, he wasn't big on calling women derogatory names.

Valek on the other hand was thinking about alphabetising his book collection, and then adding to it, buying some more rocks for his sculptures, also purchasing a new pillow. The one he had now just wasn't fluffy enough to smother intruders with.

"OH and to adjourn this meeting, I forgot one integral part. Janco, Yelena," the Commander's piercing gaze burned into Yelena and Janco's cheeks. Both turned to give their full attention to the Commander murmuring, 'yes, Sir?'

"On the mission, you're to be father and daughter," Commander smiled.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Janco burst out, "I'M NOT THAT OLD!" Janco screeched, the Commander didn't flinch, his stare did not waver, and Janco looked around for support but got none. Valek was hiding his laughter behind his hand, his eyes sparkling.

"Janco do you have any issues?" the Commander's tone sounded lethal, Janco immediately straightened up and shook his head.

"No, sir," he muttered defeated.

"Yelena?"

"NO, Sir," Yelena sighed running her hands over her face. This was going to be hell for everyone.

"Everyone will be leaving at different times, the first lot to leave will be Valek, and Maren. Ari you leave a day after them and Yelena and Janco will leave three days after Valek and Maren," Commander concluded and left.

"All those in favour of killing Valek, raise thy hands," Yelena announced, everyone, including Valek, raised their hands.

* * *

"Yelena! Can't we be friends?" Valek asked slyly, his wolfish grin took place the scowl that was there.

"No. We can't."

"Why can't we be friends?" he almost sang, Valek shook his head, where Yelena was concerned nothing about his actions made sense.

"Because you dragged me to this stupid mission," Yelena walked without favouring him with a glance his way.

"I thought it would be like old times! You in charge, me, your ever faithful, side kick," Valek caught himself before he pouted. He was becoming soft.

"Not going to work. You're too deep in the snake pit to crawl your way out of this one," Yelena went into a room and slammed it into Valek's face, he rubbed the tip of his nose and sighed.

Things were definitely not in his favour. He'd have to change that quick smart. He wanted Yelena in his bed… and that thick fluffy pillow in case Maren got ideas.

Sighing Valek began the trek back to his suite to pack some things. He'd be staying in one of the dorm rooms. He wasn't too sure about where Yelena would be placed but he espionage is his forte. He still held hope it was somewhere close to the dorm room so he could sneak in.

He found the letter the Commander had placed with a few other uniforms. Running a hand through his shoulder length hair, he sat down and sighed. _More paper work_, the thought glumly.

Yelena, Ari, Janco and Maren had found their attire and letters with all the documents they needed as well as, their back-stories if anyone asked. The Commander had thought this all through which both impressed them all, and annoyed them.

"Did y'all get yours?" Janco waved around a thick manila envelope looking at his friends. "I read mine," Janco sniffed loudly. "I'm a …" he cleared his throat and started again, "I'm a… divorcé," he begun to dab his nose. He hugged Yelena close, "you're my only link to my ex-love, Ariana!" he proclaimed.

"Oh," Ari looked disgruntled, _Xanthe's mum's name was Ariana? Tooo close for comfort, _Ari thought. Maren kept a stern façade and the corners of her mouth trembled with laughter, Yelena looked put off, roughly shoving Janco away.

"Get a grip old man," she glared before turning to them, "apparently my mother is of Sitian decent, my mother found a new 'love', I live with my dad end of story."

"Sure Xanthe," Valek smile widely. Everyone realised Valek had gone through everyone's packs.

"Hello Digby," Valek turned to Ari who groaned. "And, my personal favourite, Gaylord" he looked at Janco, before turning to Maren, "Ethel," Valek sighed, "all rather unusual, don't you think?" Valek smiled sinisterly.

"You came up with the names?" Janco went to launch himself at Valek but Maren pulled him back.

"Oh, good grief. No," Valek sighed, rubbing his temples. "I'd have given myself a better name."

"What's your name then?" Ari asked interested.

"Woulf," Valek winced.

"That's not half bad, want to trade?" Janco asked, Valek snickered.

"For Gaylord?" Valek smirked, "not on your life."

Valek sauntered out of the training grounds, he had important things to deal with, new contracts he had to sign and create, that kind of mumbo-jumbo. In actuality Valek was off to the markets to get that thick pillow, he had a feeling something was going to attempt to murder him tonight, he had four suspects in mind too. Four definite suspects.

Janco sighed, Ari turned to him with a rather infectious smile, "Gaylord?"

"Shut up Digby."

"Still not as bad as Gaylord," he snickered, Yelena muffled her laughter, Maren openly chuckled.

"Oh shut up, Xanthe," Janco glared.

"Now, now Gaylord," Yelena snickered thumping Janco on the back. "Looks like we're all going to go through hell," Yelena sighed.

"Don't be mean to Janco," Maren sighed, she could tell that Janco was becoming agitated by the name.

"Okay, ETHEL," Ari and Yelena sang.

* * *

Valek snacked on some potato chips and sighed the cook had refused to feed him, apparently Yelena had gotten to her before he could. Now all he was allowed was chips.

Stale. Shitty. Salty. Chips.

On the upside he got a thick pillow and hid some curare darts in them, he just hoped he wouldn't prick himself by accident like the first time he had gotten them. That was almost fifteen years ago though. Still wasn't an appetising thought, Valek groaned inwardly.

Yelena smirked, "how are the chips?" she asked taking a spoon full of her cottage pie and moaning in ecstasy.

"Just to let you know, that doesn't make me jealous. It makes me uncomfortable," Valek shifted in his seat, Ari and Janco shared conspiring smiles.

"How uncomfortable?" Janco asked slyly.

Yelena then used a finger to swipe off some of the frosting off of her cake slice and proceeded to lick it slowly off of her finger and closed her eyes moaning lowly.

Valek cursed and got up, he looked like he was going to say something but instead took off his coat and held it in front of him before briskly walked away.

"Score two for the comrades, zero to the Woulf," Ari murmured happily eating the rest of Valek's stale chips.

* * *

Valek left in a carriage as expected. Yelena watched out the window as a man led the horses out of MD8 grounds. She leant her head against the seal and smiled little. She missed him already. She was becoming too soft, she thought sadly as she packed a few knives into her backpack and a few interesting costumes Nutty had sewed up for her.

* * *

Valek was already at MD6, giving his best look of utter boredom to the principal. "…Well Woulf, Arimanda will show you to your rooms," the principal stood up and held his hand out for a shake.

Valek sighed, took out the gum in his mouth and placed it in the principles hand, "thanks, I've been looking for a bin all day," he muttered turning to follow a, five foot three, girl out, he heard the principal splutter angrily.

_If it was a misfit the killer wanted, then it is a misfit he shall get!_ Valek smiled inwardly. He followed the girl, Arianna, he briefly considered tripping her or pinching her butt, but then thought better of it. There was only so much mischief he could cause in ten minutes before being kicked out indefinitely.

Commander would not be too pleased with him.

Although, it was a welcoming thought.

* * *

Three days passed and Janco and Yelena were in the carriage….

Janco's hair had grown and Dilana had dyed the sides grey, gave him some spectacles and grinned handing him a fake beard, janco looked down in horror. Dilana only shrugged and stuck it on, "there's a few more of these hidden in the secret compartment f your bags, Janco," Dilana grinned. "Good luck to you both," Dilana kissed them both on the cheek, making Janco blush.

"Janco, if you make one more chew-"

Janco chewed loudly and Yelena did what she said she wouldn't do. She zapped him, Janco jumped a foot into the roof of the carriage.

"Stop it," she warned, she wore a uniform that was not pleasant, short, tight fitting.

"Are we there yet?" Janco moaned resting his head on his hands. Janco's hands itched to scratch his synthetic beard.

"Why couldn't Ari pretend to be my father?" Yelena asked the ceiling of the carriage in defeat, slouching further down. "Don't you think it will be obvious to the killer if there is an influx of new people in a short space of time?" she asked flatly.

"Not really," Janco scratched his ear, "there have been too many people leaving this MD6 high school and going to other ones. If their quota of students is not filled their funding will cease and the school will be shut down," Janco sighed.

"This all sounds, too easy," Yelena rested her head on the carriage as it rolled to a stop outside a rather large house.

As she got out she realised house wasn't the right word. It was more like a hotel. Overly large and grand, in its bearing.

"Well, good luck," they grinned at one another, "say Dad, I think you've got some drool at the corner of your lips," Yelena snickered getting out of the carriage with the help of a stranger who then tended to the bags.

"You have a curfew. If you aren't in bed by 10pm, I will not hesitate to take a cane to your backside, young lady," Janco glared, trying out his best disciplinary face.

"Yes, Daddy," Yelena emphasised 'Daddy,' and Janco looked at her uncomfortably.

"And stop saying Daddy! You may now refer to me as Professor Gaylord-"

"Daddy," Yelena looked at him petulantly. "Shut up."

Janco sighed; it was definitely going to be a harrowing time for him, he scratched his beard.

* * *

Maren was already in her cafeteria uniform looking rather sullen, the other ladies were twice her age and lacked general hygiene. _Poor kids_, she thought, _they never had a chance_.

She spied Valek already making mischief, a straw between his lips. Something came out the end of the straw and Maren looked on in amusement. Spit balls. One hit Yelena between the eyes, Yelena looked around for the culprit but found no one. Valek had hidden.

Janco was looking at Yelena with laughter in his eyes, he place an arm around her shoulders and drew her in, as he spoke to the principal. Maren could tell Yelena was uncomfortable with the situation, for she pinched Janco so quickly, it would look like a pat on Janco's hip to a commoner.

Ari was lounging in the common room for students, Ari managed to fit in with ease, there were quite a lot of burly boys littering the hallways that made it easier.

"What should we be doing?" A ginger haired boy asked another ginger haired boy. Lots of gingers in MD6. Lots.

"I say we make up a patrol," some ginger responded.

"Oh yeah and if we meet this 'said' killer, how are we going to stop them or him?" the other ginger retorted.

The other kid kept quite and Ari thought, _now is better then never. Time to make some friends_, Ari strode up to the boys who looked at him startled.

"Evening Lads, I'm Digby," Ari cleared his throat, "but I go by Ari."

"Well Ari, pleasure to meet you," one ginger stepped forward, the other scrutinized him.

"I'm Armande," the ginger nodded, "welcome to MD6. This is Leonardo," he waved at the other ginger.

"Identical twins," Ari grinned, "must be fun."

"It has it's perks," Leonardo muttered, "look dude, you're looking for the football squad, we ain't it," Leonardo grunted.

Ari's eyebrows raised into his hairlines, "no, I was merely trying to make friends," Ari groaned inwardly, _high school sucks_, he thought dimly.

"Um dude, we're the guys that get beat up by the jocks and put into lockers for two days," Leonardo replied with a glare.

"Dude, I don't know how to play football," Ari sighed, running a hand through his wig of pale blonde hair that came to his shoulders. _What is this dude, they keep saying?_ Ari thought, but played along.

The twins looked between them and smiled broadly. "Welcome to the MD6 Nirvana falls high school." The twins patted Ari on the back and begun chatting as if they were friends from birth.

Valek on the other hand, had some major issues.

"Damn it," Valek's pants were far too tight and outlined everything, his shirts overly tight.

"What am I over compensating for?" he groaned and put on one of his black pants and black shirts instead of the uniform. There had to be lines drawn, Valek thought tiredly.

Valek marched out with his book bag and sighed, time to wreak some havoc and rip some textbooks up. First class history. _Janco. Swell_.

Janco was sweating bullets; he broke five packets of chalk before looking around wildly. Yelena entered in her school uniform.

"Aw!" Janco begun to sniffle, "my baby is growing up," he wiped tears away. "That skirt is too short, move your arse back to your room and make it longer!" Janco cried pointing to the door just as students begun to shuffle in.

He promptly put his hand down and straightened up and smiled, "take a seat, Xanthe," Janco glared at Yelena.

"You're taking this too seriously, daddy," Yelena glared and took a seat at the back of the class. Managing to glare at him for the remainder of the class. Valek on the other hand was analysing the students and their fighting capabilities as Janco begun the tale of how the Commander came into authority.

His ears were on the lecture correcting all the mistakes Janco mentioned, also the textbook was grossly misinformed as he scanned through the chapter, occasionally smiling at ludicrous numbers/facts.

"The Commander had at his disposal a man capable of killing ten people at once," Janco was grinning.

Valek's bored façade slipped to show his displeasure. Ten? Sure, unarmed of medium build. It could be done. But back then everyone had some form of weapon. Even now the most Valek could take was four to five.

Janco grinned directly at Valek who slipped back his bored expression.

Maren was busy making some vile food called sloppy joes? She kept one ear on the cafeteria ladies gossip and the student's gossip. She spied Valek sitting alone on a table, his hair was six inches longer, he did not wear the standard uniform, girls were eyeing him out, Yelena on the other side rolling her eyes but smiling as she sat in the middle of some boys fawning over her, Ari was the surprising of them all. He was sitting at a Goth table, he looked utterly mortified, Maren muffled a chuckle as a pair of ginger haired twins came to his rescue.

_Maybe this mission wouldn't be too bad_, Maren thought.

"WOULF DETENTION!" Janco shouted across the room, Valek looked up in a bored manner and waved at Janco, the students erupted into chatter.

"OKAY GAYLORD!"

* * *

**There could be mistakes I just wrote it and thought I'd post it up before mid semester study consumes my little windows of freedom!**

**To the unknown reviewer who suggested Yelena be a teacher, **the thought honestly did not cross my mind. I thought about it and would be funny as hell, but I have a plan haha! Keep the suggestions coming though!

Xxx

**Enjoy this chapter!**

**And thank you for the reviews! **

**As always drop a review!**

**Love B.**


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